Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Pursuit of Happiness

The pursuit of happiness has a little more meaning to me these days. I think that the reason behind it is that for the first time in my life, it may very well be in my reach. Not to say that the opportunity hasn't presented itself to me in the past, just that now I can see it. Now I can almost reach it. Now I WANT to achieve the happiness that I thought for so long that I was not deserving of.

In saying all of that, I am only entitled to the pursuit of. I am not guaranteed to reach my goal. However, I am well aware that there are always going to be those things that are out of my control. These are the variables that keep us frozen in time where we do nothing and hope that something good comes of it. Afraid to move forward at the expense of failure or pain. 

Today, I move forward. I cannot stay stationary and wait for something to come from my lack of effort. As the true happiness that I can see in others has eluded me, I am coming to realize that I wasn't really doing my part of pursuing. Moving forward into the unknown is part of the pursuit. Conquering the fear that keeps us frozen is part of the pursuit. Enduring the let downs along the way is part of the pursuit! 

Are all of these things worth it?!?!? Today, I don't know. However, as I can see the happiest part of my life lying ahead of me, I would hope so. I hope that all of the pain and heartache and uncertainty and indifference that has been my life was just the endurance and learning stage of my pursuit. I would hope that my past is not going to be what defines my pursuit. I hope that it is my future that I am working towards is going to be what defines my pursuit. Having said that, I hope that my happiness is what defines my LIFE!

Moving forward

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